- Here at Noir Industries, we are committed to bringing you the latest and greatest in femme fatale technology. Our market research has shown that it is no longer enough for a woman simply to lure a man like Richard Harland (Cornel Wilde) to his doom through lying or treachery. That's why we've developed our newest model, Ellen Berent (Gene Tierney), a top-of-the-line deadly female, outfitted with the latest in erratic behavior, insane jealous rages, and homicidal tendencies. You may not get the money, and you may not get the woman, but we guarantee you'll get your money's worth out of this woman!
- Ellen is delivered to your backcountry home or remote mountain resort via our patented technicolor green train. She'll immediately fall in love with you because you're handsome and a writer, but mostly because you remind her of her recently deceased father. Test audiences have revealed that there's nothing creepy about that! Her possessive attitudes and penchant for lying make those annoying marriage proposals a thing of the past, and she'll gladly drive off her irritating ex-boyfriends* (Vincent Price) faster than you can say "capricious." Just listen to these testimonials: "There's nothing wrong with Ellen." In fact, if anything, "she loves too much."
- But that's not all! Ellen promises never to let you go. "Never, never, never!" If your angelic handicapped brother (Darryl Hickman) gets in the way, she'll gladly watch him drown! Ellen will even rid your home of pesky unborn children without the unsightly mess. You'd have to go to The Back of the Moon and back to find another offer like that. Still not convinced? Well, consider this: Ellen will sacrifice her own life to make sure that you never escape her clutches. Show me another femme fatale willing to commit suicide out of a jealous sense of revenge, and I'll show you a liar. Incidentally, if you're unhappy with Ellen at any time, we'll gladly replace her with her wholesome adopted sister Ruth (Jeanne Crain)**.
- It may seem odd for me to take such a playful approach to a film that features so many decidedly gruesome plot points, but I'm not sure there's a better way to watch Leave Her To Heaven. Ellen's actions in the latter half of the film are so absurdly beyond the pale that they seem like an exaggerated parody of an archetype that's already pretty exploitative. Add in the fact that the film's dark tones are completely incompatible with its vivid color cinematography, which actually does a terrific job capturing mountain vistas and isolated lakes, and you have a film that works much better as accidental comedy than as a true film noir. John M. Stahl's direction and the acting performances*** are fine and Leon Shamroy's Oscar-winning cinematography is good, but this is a clear example of a decent product packaged in entirely the wrong manner.
- *Noir Industries does not assume liability if ex-boyfriends somehow serve as your prosecuting attorney later in the film.
- **Allow two years for delivery.
- ***Featuring Mary Philips, Gene Lockhart, Reed Hadley, and Ray Collins, the last of whom was Lt. Tragg in Perry Mason.
