- What is it really like to be a child? We all went through it, and we all have our memories, all of which I'm sure have been imperceptibly altered by the passage of time. As a general rule, by the time you're old enough to clearly communicate it, you're probably too old to accurately recount it. Writer, radio personality, and storyteller Jean Shepherd may be the exception to that rule. His semi-autobiographical yarns about growing up in rural Indiana seem too convincing to have been written by an adult and yet too witty to have been penned by a child. Combined with Bob Clark's whimsical direction, acting talent of all ages, and Shepherd's own masterful narration, these tales are transformed in A Christmas Story into one of the most enjoyable holiday films ever made.
- Consider a sample day in the life of young Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley). Wrapped in countless layers of coats, preparing to walk to school on a typical Indiana winter morning "was like getting ready for extended deep-sea diving". In the classroom, teachers would drone on about writing themes while the kids were invariably more interested in gag teeth and anticipated Christmas joys, including the coveted "Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred Shot Range Model Air Rifle." Incidentally, reading that particular item's name hardly compares to the excitement conveyed when Ralphie spits it all out in one breath. During recess, there is no command more compelling than the notorious "triple-dog dare" that results in one poor soul (Scott Schwartz) sticking his tongue to a frozen flagpole. And on the way home, Ralphie must play Peter to a set of Wolves who take the forms of fearsome yellow-eyed bullies (Zack Ward) and their green-teethed toadies (Yano Anaya).
- Back home, there's the family. Ralphie's father, a blustering fellow referred to only as The Old Man (Darren McGavin), quickly proves to be the film's most entertaining character. As "one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana" and someone who changes tires like a pit stop mechanic, The Old Man tends to work "in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay." Ralphie's mother (Melinda Dillon), on the other hand, is a silently suffering housewife who "had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years" and whose secret mission is to rid the house of The Old Man's indescribably gaudy "leg lamp." And then there's Ralphie's little brother Randy (Ian Petrella), a perpetually weird and whiny kid who has "not eaten voluntarily in over three years." Though there's rarely a quiet moment in this home, the few that spring up are inevitably interrupted by the neighbor's violently interloping dogs. "Bumpuses!" The Old Man exclaims.
- Ralphie's life would be absorbing enough in any season, but of course this particular set of stories takes place during "lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved." For Ralphie, this means overcoming obstacles like the "classic mother BB gun block" (also known as "You'll shoot your eye out"), the latent terror of a visit to Santa Claus, and opening presents from relatives who "had for years labored under the delusion that (Ralphie) was not only perpetually four years old, but also a girl." Despite the film's many hilarious moments, however, A Christmas Story also subtly illuminates the complete incongruity between childhood fantasy and the real world. Ralphie's daydreaming, reminiscent of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, always casts the young dreamer as a heroic cowboy or brilliant author, in stark contrast to the reality of bullies and C+ grades. In one of the film's most memorable scenes, even Little Orphan Annie is revealed to be little more than a corporate shill. Ralphie's life is a constantly shifting stream of terror, excitement, disappointment, and hope. In other words, precisely what I recall about being a kid.
- Jean Shepherd has a brief (visual) cameo as the angry man in line for Santa.
